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Thirty years ago, it was normal for parents to drop their kids off at college with a hug and a “Good luck!” Contact after that was often limited to a brief (and expensive) long-distance

Sunday phone call.

Now, technology has made it easy and cheap for parents and their college kids to stay in touch daily (sometimes multiple times a day) or for parents to track their child wherever they might

Freaking Out.Snowplowing: Some parents try to solve all their child’s problems. “A snowplow parent is always sort of two or three steps ahead of your kid, clearing the way, so they don’t

face any obstacles,” Naumburg says.

Though good intentions are likely behind snowplow and helicopter parenting, these behaviors can be problematic. Why? Aren’t parents keeping their kid safer and stress-free?

The problem, Naumburg says, is that we’re “undermining their confidence, because we’re fundamentally sending them a message saying, ‘I don’t think you can handle this.’ ” Another unintended

consequence, she says: Your kid won’t learn resilience or how to cope with unpleasant emotions if you always step in to solve problems such as failing a class or trying to make friends for

them.

Here are some common situations and suggestions about how to help your college student — without helicoptering.

How to handle it: “When it comes to grades, parents usually really push back on that line of thought [of not getting involved], because they say, ‘Wait a minute, I’m not paying XYZ dollars

in tuition [to let you fail],’ ” says Denise Pope, cofounder of Challenge Success, a nonprofit organization that works to improve students’ well-being and academic achievement.

First, you should help your child figure out why they are failing, says Pope, a lecturer at Stanford University. Did they study? Did they get assistance when they needed it? Then you can ask

them, “How can we prevent this from happening in the future?”