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IS THERE ONE LESSON YOUR FATHER TAUGHT YOU THAT YOU WANT TO IMPART TO YOUR KIDS? I knew early on that if I wanted anything, I had to work for it. He would do a thing where I would say,
“Daddy, can I have some money?” And he’d pull his pockets out. I got no money. So by the time I was 10, I started working in the fields back in Iowa, and the self-esteem I got from that,
realizing, _Oh no, I’ve got to do this myself_, has helped me a lot. [With] my kids — it’s a little different because they don’t have to work in the fields. But they … have chores and tasks.
ARE YOU STILL IN TOUCH WITH ROSEANNE BARR? [THEY MARRIED IN 1990 AND DIVORCED IN 1994.] I understand when people have kids, they have to still engage with people, but Roseanne and I never
had kids. I wish her the best. It was a very acrimonious divorce, but the truth is, we both did our best. YOU MADE A SURPRISE APPEARANCE AT THE 2012 COMEDY CENTRAL ROAST OF ROSEANNE. HOW DID
THAT GO? I walked out, and I swear — it doesn't happen very much on TV — but [the surprise] was real. I could feel [everyone] go [gasping sound] — even the other roasters. The roasts
that I loved back in the day, there would always be a moment where they said something kind, and I just thought,_ Well, how do I say something kind?_ I thought,_ Well, I’m going to talk
about when she first went on Johnny Carson._ We were friends back in 1985, and she did a couple of jokes I’d written. Johnny Carson let her come down and sit on the couch [and] he made her
career. So, I just did a [bit] about it, and I was totally sincere about her giving me the opportunity of letting me sit on her couch for a little while. It was a real thing. I left and I
couldn’t see what other people were doing. Were they hugging her? All I wanted to do was get the hell out of there. And then, as they’re taking my mic off, she comes back and says, “Thank
you. That’s great. It’s great to have you.” WOULD YOU GET MARRIED AGAIN? I don’t know. … I got married four times in 20 years — that’s, like, crazy. I want to figure out what I did wrong. It
was pretty clear I was projecting my dreams on other people, and then when those things don’t coalesce, it gets disappointing. But my goal was to have a family, and that has turned out to
be amazing. The most important thing is being a father. I’ve done a lot of cool stuff, but nothing, nothing like this. I am very grateful.