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Confession: I loved this week’s question. A man wants guidance on how to best pleasure a woman — sexually, physically and emotionally. My advice? Follow her lead. Our experts lay it out for
him. HOW CAN A MAN BECOME MORE INFORMED ABOUT HOW TO AROUSE A WOMAN AND GET A BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF HER PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL NEEDS AND WANTS? IN OTHER WORDS, HOW CAN HE BECOME THE BEST
POSSIBLE LOVER? The headline here? Every woman is different, as our sexuality experts point out. Each one of us has our own happy place. Here’s how to get started. BECOME FAMILIAR WITH YOUR
PARTNER’S EMOTIONAL NEEDS. Arousal with women isn’t always like a light switch, the way it can be with men, says certified sex therapist Amanda Pasciucco. Women experience a buildup of
desire in different ways, she says — and it doesn’t always happen in the bedroom. While kissing her and massaging her can be sensual, Pasciucco says not to overlook those things that turn
her on emotionally. Among her suggestions: Flirt with her; court her throughout the day. “Text her, saying something like: ‘I can’t wait to see you later. I can’t stop thinking about you.’”
And when she does get home, Pasciucco says to ask about her day, help her debrief, start a shower for her. “I think a lot of women are aroused emotionally when they feel seen and heard,” she
adds. “This isn’t a one-off. It’s an ongoing conversation.” And here’s a news flash from certified sex therapist Sandi Kaufman: “Every day, a woman may be in a different mood, a different
place emotionally. What aroused her yesterday may not arouse her today.” MAKE HER FEEL SAFE — AND SPECIAL. Opening up your body to engage with a man sexually can involve a feeling of
vulnerability, Kaufman says. “It’s not uncommon for a man to think with his penis while she’s thinking with her heart,” says Kaufman, adding that women need to feel emotionally connected to
have good-quality sex. Women want to feel loved, appreciated and attractive, she says. “Is he complimenting her? Is he making her feel special?” If you haven’t already, talk to her about her
emotional desires around intimacy. Certified sex therapist Sari Cooper suggests initiating a conversation with prompts like: * What are the moments when you feel closest to me and why? * Do
you feel like we get enough time to have meaningful conversations with each other? If not, would you like to set aside time to do that more often? * Are you looking to create more emotional
intimacy through our sex life, or is that not an erotic need of yours?