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ADVOCATING FOR ASSISTANCE Talking with a loved one about getting help around the house can be a delicate matter. A common mistake: barging in and announcing what’s needed and what you are
going to do about it. A better approach starts with these principles, says Tabatha Barrett, a director of social services and innovation at Darts, a nonprofit agency that offers caregiver
support and other services in St. Paul, Minnesota. Talk about your concerns, using “I statements.” Say: “I’m really scared when I see you going down the steps with that laundry basket,
because I fear you that you’re going to fall.” Seek solutions together. Offer ideas and see what your loved one says. For example, ask if they are they willing to get a housekeeper or move
the laundry room. Listen for objections and address them. Maybe your loved one does not want a stranger in their house. You could stay with them the first time the housekeeper comes. Or
maybe they are worried about the expense. Explore enlisting volunteers or a reduced-fee service, if the recipient qualifies. Take “no” for an answer. If your loved one is cognitively able
to make decisions, accept their choices, even if they make you uncomfortable.