What to do if your son has failure-to-launch syndrome

What to do if your son has failure-to-launch syndrome

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PHASE IN FINANCES Set near-future deadlines for your stuck kid to pay his own phone bill, car expenses, health insurance and share of the internet, McConville suggests. “A kid can refuse to


make dinner, but if his phone stops working, he has to find a way to make an income,” he says. Think twice about charging rent, though, Arnett says. “If your son is working in a minimum-wage


job, it’s reasonable to ask for rent, but he may not be able to pay for classes at community college or save up for a deposit on an apartment.” PARK YOUR HELICOPTER Stop fixing, rescuing


and controlling. Your kid can make his own appointments, check job openings and schedule interviews. “When we are pushing from behind and dragging from the front, a child becomes passive in


their own life,” Lyth​cott-Haims says. “They don’t intrinsically feel that their life is their own.” Instead, encourage them the way an aunt or uncle might. DO LESS THAN HALF Let your kid do


most of the work of solving his issues. “If you’re cutting out job ads and he’s not following through, or signing him up for school or figuring out how to approach the boss for extra hours,


you’re doing more than 49 percent,” McConville says. Offer to help, but let them be in charge. RETHINK YOUR EXPECTATIONS You hoped for a doctor or lawyer, but he’s not interested in more


schooling. Discover what excites him and support that, McConville says. “Becoming your true self is the gold standard of adult life.” BE PROACTIVE ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH Depression and anxiety


can impede an emerging young adult’s progress — and rates of both disorders are up, especially among 18- to 29-year-olds. Talk with your child about how they’re feeling and ask if they want


counseling, Lythcott-Haims recommends. “You don’t tell a kid who’s in a serious depression, ‘You need to get a job in a month,’ ” she says. But identifying and treating mental health


problems make any other problem much easier to solve.