Ticket price increase is widespread across the UK (Image: getty) Can you name the service that has slumped to a 13-year low in punctuality, costs five times more than its European

counterparts, has hiked pay to its hapless bosses by, in some instances, more than 20 per cent and yet has just announced the biggest price rise since 2013? Go straight to a first class

seat, complete with complimentary hot breakfast, if you said our creaking, clapped out and almost comedic rail service. If prizes were handed out for bare-faced, brazen cheek both the rail

network and the Government that sanctions its demands for more of our cash would be sure-fire Oscar winners. RELATED ARTICLES As it was revealed that one in seven trains had been delayed by

reading for the nation's workforce.  They showed how a commuter earning an average salary and travelling from Chelmsford in Essex to London has to spend 13 per cent of their pay to use

the rail network. In France, a passenger would pay only two per cent of their average salary, in Ireland three per cent and in Germany four per cent. Don't for one moment think this

reprehensible rail rip-off is limited to the London area.  One in seven trains were delayed by at least five minutes over the past year (Image: getty) This is a nationwide great train

robbery.  A season ticket from Milton Keynes to Stoke-on-Trent has risen by 42 per cent over the past eight years and one from Norwich into London by 36 per cent over the same period. Quite

how the country that effectively pioneered the railways revolution in the early 19th century and therefore rightly earned an esteemed global reputation has slumped to providing a service

that is akin to a national disgrace is simply baffling. The reality for far, far too many is that when they arrive on their crowded platforms tomorrow morning they are certain to be faced

with the grim prospect of a cancelled or a delayed service. RELATED ARTICLES If they're "lucky" their train will arrive on time but will be hideously overcrowded and

they'll be forced to travel in conditions in which it would be illegal to move sheep or cattle. To illustrate that, consider this.  Last summer on the service between Uckfield in Sussex

and London's Victoria it was discovered that carriages designed for 107 passengers were actually occupied by 267!  And you just know that, as it was summer, the heating would be on

full blast and the toilets would be out of service. Labour bleats about a return to nationalisation, naively clinging to the ludicrous belief that it would solve all the problems.  This

shows the appreciation of recent history you might expect from a five-year-old. Anyone in their 50s reading this will recall that British Rail was the staple diet of comedians.  Whether for

surly staff, shocking services or inedible sarnies, it was soulless, state-controlled incompetence at its union-dominated worst. Not that John Major's privatisation in the 1990s is

anything to get excited about.  That produced the worst of both worlds: rapacious, near-monopolistic privately owned companies bolstered by a state machine neither able nor willing to bring

about real change. One of the Conservatives' main planks of defence for the price rise was to point to weighty increases in pay negotiated by intransigent rail unions.  While

they're not wrong, how come some of the bosses who have presided over this shambles enjoy salaries in the hundreds of thousands of pounds and annual rises of around 20 per cent?  It is

no easy task but surely each and every one of us who uses the rail network deserves to see a Government battling to get the services "back on track" in any way it can.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- HOW IRONIC THAT THE ETERNALLY PUBLICITY HUNGRY BUT PERPETUALLY INEPT LONDON MAYOR SADIQ KHAN HAS BEEN

CAUGHT OUT BY SOMETHING HE HAS ACTUALLY DONE!  Sadiq Khan spent £2.3million on London fireworks for New Years Eve (Image: getty) He sought to justify his blatant politicisation of the

annual £2.3million London fireworks the city’s taxpayers fund, a display that included the sentence “London is Open” in a series of European languages and illumination of the London Eye in

the blue colours of the EU complete with glowing yellow stars, as an attempt to show London would be open to all and ready for business after this year’s Brexit.  Fair enough. However if

that was really the case, Mr Mayor, why was there no message of welcome in Mandarin? Or Hindi? Or Japanese?  And, seeing as so many of the Londoners who fund your £143,911 annual salary are

from the Commonwealth and many of those have been forced to endure the hurtful shambles that was the Windrush fiasco, why was there no acknowledgment of their contribution?  Stick to

star-studded selfies, Mr Mayor.  When you play politics, you get it laughably wrong. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- WHEN IS THE

GOVERNMENT GOING TO DECLARE WAR ON THE HOPELESS HERBERTS AT CAPITA WHO PRESIDE OVER THE DISASTROUS ARMY RECRUITMENT CAMPAIGN? Keen readers of this column will recall it highlighted the

absurdity of last year’s £1.6million drive that bizarrely opted to highlight the fact the service was open for soldiers who might wish to cry, show emotion or pray.  Capita ran a £1.6million

campaign calling for soldiers who wish to cry, show emotion or pray (Image: getty) It led to applications slumping to a five-year low.  Now this crew of clueless clowns has decided to ape

the Lord Kitchener Your Country Needs You posters from the First World War in a bid to lure “snowflakes”, “selfie addicts” and “me me me millennials”.  Setting aside the gross offence of

copying something that was so symbolically remembered as recently as last November, how can this preening garbage cost another £1.5million. Both the RAF and Royal Navy handle their own

recruitment and numbers are exactly where they need to be.  Meanwhile, the British Army – relying on clapped-out Capita – has slumped to a level not seen since the Crimean War.  That tells

you everything you need to know, surely. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A GROUP OF MPS WANTS THE GOVERNMENT TO SET UP AN ABSURD BODY

CALLED PUMP WATCH, WHICH WILL BE TASKED WITH MONITORING PRICES AT PETROL PUMPS TO ENSURE MOTORISTS DON’T GET RIPPED OFF.  While not excusing such practices for a moment, is it really that

difficult for someone to look at a sign that’s probably 10ft high before they fill up?  What’s next, the Government telling us to be sure to wear a vest when it gets chilly?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- GIVEN THE FEES THEY ARE ALLOWED TO CHARGE, IT SEEMS QUITE INCREDIBLE THAT OUR UNIVERSITIES HAVE BEEN

TOLD THEY ARE ON THE VERGE OF A “CREDIT CRUNCH” AS THEY HAVE EMBARKED ON A RECORD BORROWING SPREE.  Universities told they are on the verge of a 'credit crunch' (Image: getty)

Debts in the sector have risen over the past 12 months to an astonishing £10.8billion. Incredibly, that’s three times more than before the financial meltdown.  And we trust these buffoons to

teach our young people about economics, maths and business management? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- PRESSURE IS GROWING TO CUT

THE NUMBER OF PEERS SITTING IN THE HOUSE OF LORDS, WHICH IS ONLY BEATEN BY THE CHINESE ASSEMBLY IN ITS BLOATED TOTAL.  As various measures are being considered, surely it is desperately

simple.  Anyone who turns up for less than half the time they could be on duty has their membership reviewed immediately.  There can be no other job where you’d get away with it.