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Candy Land Rules Explained By My Three-Year-OldLogical rules from a very small person.Devin WallaceFollow3 min read·Apr 27, 2020 --
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Image copyright: Hasbro (Fair Use)To decide who goes first, players play Rock-Paper-Scissors. The first player to wave a half-fist in the air and shout “Big” obviously goes first.To begin,
clumsily shuffle the cards in a messy pile. Shuffling is best done by the player with the smallest hands and worst motor skills. Players should not respond to begging, pleading, and terse
cajoling to stop. Once the crinkled cards are retrieved from around the board, under the couch, and inside players’ mouths, the game begins.When a color card is drawn, the player moves to
the next space of that color on the board. Unless the color is green. Peas are green. Peas are mushy in the mouth and the most bad of the green foods. Green is not to be used in this
game.When a character card is drawn, the player shall put their piece on Gloppy. This is regardless of character card. Gloppy is the silliest of all characters (see: his name). Players will
then shout “Gloppy!” once, or twice, or until one player is distracted by a bug.There are two shortcuts players may use only if they land directly on the space. However, if they do not land
on the space, players may lie face down on the carpet and sob. Players may inform others that Mommy allows the sobbing…