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Walk into a liquor store these days and you’ll find a dizzying array of novelty vodka flavors, from bacon to Cinnabon. (Yes, your favorite mall pastry can now get you drunk. Cheers.)
Naturally, this begs the question: Does Cinnabon vodka actually taste like Cinnabons? Does bacon vodka actually taste like bacon? More importantly, do any of these vodkas actually taste
good? We put our most happy-hour-loving staff through a blind taste test to see if they could match six flavored vodkas to their real food counterparts — and to get their opinion on whether
they’d knock back another pour. FLAVOR: Cinnabon BLIND TESTER: Whitney Little, Associate Producer BEST GUESS: Cake. “It tastes like buttercream and a really delicious birthday cake.” REAL
FLAVOR REVEAL: No huge shock here. “Cinnabon actually makes sense because the most overwhelming flavor was icing.” THE LAST WORD: “I want an entire bottle!” FLAVOR: PB&J BLIND TESTER:
Alison Schwartz, Associate Editor BEST GUESS: Chocolate bubblegum. (Ed. note: Chocolate bubblegum?! Actually, that’s no crazier than PB&J, never mind.) REAL FLAVOR REVEAL: Schwartz
agreed she could taste the nutty, buttery flavor. The jelly, not so much. THE LAST WORD: “I could kinda, maybe, sorta drink this straight. …But what would happen if I muddled this with
berries? Impossible is nothing.” FLAVOR: Bacon BLIND TESTER: Ben Trivett, Photo Editor BEST GUESS: Chili/pepper REAL FLAVOR REVEAL: “Blasphemous! Alcohol should not be mixed with meat!” THE
LAST WORD: When we added the savory spirit to a cocktail mix, Trivett was sold. “In a Bloody Mary, it was very delicious.” May the record also show that two other staffers could not stop
raving about the bacon Bloody. FLAVOR: Fluffed Marshmallow (Ed. note: Is there such a thing as an unfluffed marshmallow?) BLIND TESTER: Katie Kauss, Visual Projects Editor BEST GUESS: Cotton
candy REAL FLAVOR REVEAL: “Fluffed marshmallow should be on a s’more!” THE LAST WORD: You may not be able to toast this over an open flame, but maybe you should enjoy it in a warm beverage:
“This would actually be great mixed in a hot chocolate.” FLAVOR: Glazed Donut BLIND TESTER: Laura Franco, Assistant Producer BEST GUESS: Birthday cake with vanilla ice cream. (When
questioned on the specificity of her guess, Franco insisted the vodka smelled like an ice cream shop.) REAL FLAVOR REVEAL: “DOUGHNUTS!! Totally didn’t see it coming!” THE LAST WORD:
“Fantastic on its own!” FLAVOR: Tropical fruit (Ed. note: Despite the “Loopy” name, rainbow coloring and suggestive logo of overlapping circles, there is no explicit reference to a popular
breakfast cereal anywhere on this bottle or in its marketing.) BLIND TESTER: Rachel Horner, Freelance Writer BEST GUESS: Froot Loops/Fruity Pebbles REAL FLAVOR REVEAL: Our unsurprised tester
could even tell from the smell: “It was sweet but in a fruity way rather than overly sugary.” THE LAST WORD: “I would drink this by itself with no mixer, but think it would also taste
delicious simply mixed with Sprite.” _—Karen J. Quan_