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Michael Deacon Parliamentary Sketchwriter 25 June 2020 7:00am BST _Michael Deacon's new series Notes from the New Normal looks at how Britain is adjusting to life post-lockdown. For his
first column, click here._ THE BEST PART ABOUT WFH Having a small boy is a lot like having a puppy. They need constant exercise, love ball games, have inexhaustible appetites, and make a
tremendous amount of mess. The main thing they have in common, though, is their tireless excitability. When we’re playing a game in the local park my son practically pants with joy. He
bounds off in pursuit of the ball, tongue streaming behind him, like a dog released from its lead. That’s been the biggest upside of working from home these past three months: as a family we
get so much more time to play together. Much as my son loves YouTube and Minecraft, he never looks happier than when he’s playing the simplest, oldest outdoor games. Like Piggy in the
Middle, during which he sometimes starts giggling so hard that he falls over and drops the ball, or accidentally throws it backwards over his own head. Hide & Seek’s still a big
favourite, too. Mama and I love just to stand for a bit and watch him crouching in his hiding place, in a clump of bushes or behind a tree: jiggling with uncontrollable excitement, as he
waits to find out whether he’s finally outfoxed his parents. It’s been lovely to be able to drop him off at school every morning, and to be at home when he bursts through the front door in
the afternoon, rushes upstairs to find me, and then breathlessly announces, without preamble or even a greeting, that spider monkeys can hang from a branch using only their tail, or that
red-eyed tree frogs have three eyelids. In fact, working from home has had only one downside: the piercing guilt when a small voice says, “Dada, will you play with me?”, and I have to
explain that I can’t, because I’m in the middle of watching a news conference hosted by a man called Matt Hancock. From now on, however, I shall be lashed by guilt no more. On Tuesday, Boris
Johnson announced that the daily Downing Street news conferences had come to an end. As a journalist, I was appalled – and as a dad, delighted. THE HEATWAVE WARDROBE DILEMMA This heatwave
presents British men with a grave quandary. Wear trousers, and feel insufferably sweaty – or wear shorts, and feel like a middle-aged Edwardian Scoutmaster. Of course shorts are more
comfortable. But they just don’t suit us. Above the age of 35, all British men look terrible in shorts. Self-conscious, incongruous, clumsy, exposed. Perhaps it’s because they see so little
daylight the rest of the year, but our legs simply aren’t at home in the sun. Mine certainly aren’t. So pale, skinny and goosebumped, like uncooked drumsticks. I know how I’m going to make
my millions. I’m going to invent a pair of jeans with air-con. _MICHAEL DEACON'S NOTES FROM THE NEW NORMAL IS THE NEW INCARNATION OF LETTERS FROM LOCKDOWN. _ Telegraph Parenting
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