Play all audios:
Brexit has had many things going for it: the genius of Dominic Cummings, the technology of AggregateIQ, 17.4 million people – and the dogged determination of Theresa May. But the one thing
which it sorely lacks – now more than ever – is a speech to end all speeches. Britain doesn’t do them often, but when it does, they are the best in the world. Think of Churchill in 1940 and
Hugh Grant in Love Actually. As Brexit grinds to a halt in parliament, who can find the words to persuade a majority of MPs to support the Withdrawal Agreement? Two politicians who have
titillated Brexiteers with their rhetorical ability are Geoffrey Cox and Nigel Farage. Cox for his booming soliloquies in full baritone; Farage for his tub-thumping lectures in plain
English. Yet neither Cox nor Farage have delivered a speech that has won their side the debate and put them in the history books. Cox came close to finding what Churchill called the ‘God
within’ before the first meaningful vote, reminding MPs that they ‘are not children in the playground’ but ‘legislators’. Farage has given many a rousing speech, but he either preaches to
the choir or falls on deaf ears. Farage and other Hard Brexiteers are at an advantage, however, because they oppose the Agreement with a passion. Conviction is a key ingredient for any
successful speech, and the Agreement’s supporters are in short supply of it. To paraphrase Cicero, those who support the Agreement often display logic (logos), whether it be the need to obey
the 2016 Referendum or provide economic stability. Rarely, however, do they display emotion (pathos) or character (ethos). If this combination served Cicero when acquitting guilty
criminals, then surely it would serve those trying to save May’s Brexit deal? One suspects that it won’t be the PM herself who rises to the challenge. As we all know, even when in full
command of her voice she does not command the Commons Chamber. ‘Spreadsheet Phil’ is an unlikely candidate. All three Brexit Secretaries have tried and failed to persuade the House. Many
Brexiteers have studied History or Classics and will know their Cicero but, providing that they even support the Agreement, the Daniel Hannans, Jacob Rees-Moggs and Boris Johnsons would need
to delve deeper than Oxford Union-style speaking to move this particular mountain. Meanwhile, it cannot be said that an impressive public speaker dwells among the current Tory leadership
contenders (Jeremy Hunt, Dominic Raab, Sajid Javid et. al.) and undoubtedly some of these hopefuls will vote against the Agreement anyway. Those leading the charge against Brexit are no
better. Jeremy Corbyn shouts; Vince Cable mumbles; Keir Starmer, Yvette Cooper and Chucka Umunna all fall in intonation when speaking (linguists call this ‘downspeak’), which is more
condescending than inspiring. Ken Clarke, Caroline Lucas and Anna Soubry are all powerful speakers, but pathos and ethos alone cannot win them the argument when they are yet to accept the
logic of 52:48. Hence, we have a parliamentary impasse, the product of 650 entrenched and conflicting views, and, seemingly, not a single persuasive speaker among them to break the deadlock.
Or do we? It is worth pointing out that all of the politicians that I have mentioned are English. Aside from rare birds like Cox and Farage, it would seem that the politicians with the best
oratorical abilities hail from Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. Think of David Lloyd George, Aneurin Bevan, Neil Kinnock, Geoffrey Howe and Robin Cook. Mhairi Black’s maiden speech in
the Commons was widely praised and, when Ian Blackford stands to question Theresa May every PMQs, his rolling cadences are a breath of fresh air in a House all-too-used to Received
Pronunciation. One can only speculate as to why this seems to be the case. Maybe the phonology of their native tongue lends itself to the art of public speaking; maybe it’s the necessity of
having to be heard in an English Parliament. The Withdrawal Agreement is unpopular and its standard-bearer even more so. Without a spell-binding feat of rhetoric in the House of Commons,
May’s deal and Brexit itself are at their wits’ end. Time, numbers and the Speaker are not on the PM’s side; fudge, pork-barrel and the whip have all failed. Only someone who speaks with
logic, emotion and character – and preferably in brogue – can save the Agreement now. In the words of Lord Halifax, it’s time to mobilise the English language and send it into battle.