The Scarsdale diet’s inventor, Dr Herman Tarnower, was murdered by a jilted lover, and didn’t die, as I hoped, of a pastrami overdose. Anyhow, I dropped down to 50kg until age 23 and the

birth of my first daughter, when I reached a whopping 61kg, joined Weight Watchers (three times) and by age 45, three kids later I weighed 75kg. These days, I vacillate between 82 and 85kg …

or a bit less than Gary Ablett Jnr … 87kg.