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TRAWLING REDDIT CAN SOMETIMES BE A PRETTY JOYLESS EXPERIENCE…BUT THEN YOU STUMBLE ACROSS A THREAD OF FOREIGN FOOTBALLER AND MANAGER NAMES TRANSLATED INTO ENGLISH. When it comes to the
pronunciation of foreign names, British people are left with a bit of a dilemma: whether you go with the English-sounding version or the native version, someone’s going to think you’re a
prat. Everyone’s lives would certainly be a lot easier, not to mention a whole lot more enjoyable, if these English equivalents of non-English names – courtesy of the brilliant r/soccer
community on Reddit – were used instead. JORDI ALBA – GEORGE SUNRISE What a lovely name. Get us a deed poll. MASSIMILIANO ALLEGRI – MAX CHEERFUL We really need to make this a thing. LUÍS BOA
MORTE – LOUIS GOOD DEATH You do not try to tackle a man called Louis Good Death. CARLOS BOCANEGRA – CARL BLACK MOUTH The sort of nickname someone gets stuck with for 30 years for eating too
many Black Jacks as a kid. FRANK DE BOER – FRANK THE FARMER It’s actually kinda rude that neither Frank nor Ronald gave farming a go all things considered. KEVIN DE BRUYNE – KEVIN THE BROWN
The man does not tan. VICENTE DEL BOSQUE – VINCENT FROM THE FOREST Picture Vincent from the Forest. He’s got a great tache, hasn’t he? ANTONIO DI NATALE – ANTHONY FROM CHRISTMAS Napoli fans
certainly considered him a gift. JOSEP GUARDIOLA – JOSEPH PIGGYBANK *Jose Mourinho likes this* CIRO IMMOBILE – CYRUS MOTIONLESS A pretty harsh name for a player with a strike rate better
than a goal every other game. Although, having said that, you’re guaranteed to be in the right place if you never move in the first place. AYMERIC LAPORTE – AYMERIC THE DOOR A pretty fitting
name for a man part of a Manchester City defence which conceded only 23 goals in 38 Premier League games in 2018-19. Laporte would probably like to think he was a touch more mobile than a
door, mind. JUAN MATA – JOHN BUSH Now this one we cannot accept. You can not call that lovely man John Bush. DANILO POPIVODA – DANIEL DRINKWATER Daniel Drinkwater drinking water is a gift
from the gods, but this should have been a joke back in the 70s when Popivoda was playing for Yugoslavia. We’re forty years late with it. TEEMU PUKKI – TEEMU GOAT Well, Norwich City fans
have been trying to tell us. SERGIO RAMOS – SERGEANT BOUQUETS If only we’d known. You can’t be a hard man with a surname like Bouquets. READ: A BEGRUDGING TRIBUTE TO SERGIO RAMOS, FOOTBALL’S
IRREPLACEABLE ANTI-HERO NUNO ESPIRITO SANTO – NUNO HOLY GHOST He’s certainly got Wolves fans believing again. LUCAS TORREIRA – LUKE TURRET Another one that makes so much sense. He was born
to play for Arsenal. _There’s plenty more where these came from on Reddit. We haven’t even scratched the surface._ ------------------------- MORE FROM PLANET FOOTBALL 17 OF FOOTBALL’S MOST
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